Evil Kitty Konspiracy's topics - tribe.netTribe.net. Local ConnectionsHaikuTentacularhttp://evilkittykonspiracy.tribe.net/thread/63452898-db26-47f5-a00e-6fcbd8d84bd42004-12-06T18:31:52Z2004-12-04T02:12:53Z<div>Got this in an email a few weeks ago. Seems appropriate for this tribe:
<br/>
<br/>Cat Haiku----
<br/>
<br/> The food in my bowl
<br/> Is old, and more to the point
<br/> Contains no tuna.
<br/> ----
<br/> So you want to play.
<br/> Will I claw at dancing string?
<br/> Your ankle's closer.
<br/> ----
<br/> There's no dignity
<br/> In being sick - which is why
<br/> I don't tell you where.
<br/> ----
<br/> Seeking solitude
<br/> I am locked in the closet.
<br/> For once I need you.
<br/> ----
<br/> Tiny can, dumped in
<br/> Plastic bowl. Presentation,
<br/> One star; service: none.
<br/> ----
<br/> Am I in your way?
<br/> You seem to have it backwards:
<br/> This pillow's taken.
<br/> ----
<br/> Your mouth is moving;
<br/> Up and down, emitting noise.
<br/> I've lost interest.
<br/> ----
<br/> The dog wags his tail,
<br/> Seeking approval. See mine?
<br/> Different message.
<br/> ----
<br/> My brain: walnut-sized.
<br/> Yours: largest among primates.
<br/> Yet, who leaves for work?
<br/> ----
<br/> Most problems can be
<br/> Ignored. The more difficult
<br/> Ones can be slept through.
<br/> ----
<br/> The rule for today;
<br/> Touch my tail
<br/> I claw your hand.
<br/> New rule tomorrow.
<br/> ----
<br/> My affection is conditional.
<br/> Don't stand up,
<br/> It's your lap I love.
<br/> ----
<br/> Cats can't steal the breath
<br/> Of children. But if my tail's
<br/> Pulled again, I'll learn.
<br/> ----
<br/> I don't mind being
<br/> Teased, any more than you mind
<br/> A skin graft or two.
<br/> ----
<br/> So you call this thing
<br/> Your "cat carrier." I call
<br/> These my "blades of death."
<br/> ----
<br/> Toy mice, dancing yarn
<br/> Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
<br/> You're an idiot.
<br/>
<br/>
<br/> Dog Haiku
<br/>
<br/> I love my master,
<br/> Thus I perfume myself with
<br/> This long rotten squirrel.
<br/> ----
<br/> I hate my choke chain
<br/> Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
<br/> Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
<br/> ----
<br/> I lie belly-up
<br/> In the sunshine, happier than
<br/> You will ever be.
<br/> ----
<br/> Sleeping here, my chin
<br/> On your foot, no greater bliss - well
<br/> Maybe chasing cats.
<br/> ----
<br/> Today I sniffed
<br/> Many dog behinds, I celebrate
<br/> By kissing your face.
<br/> ----
<br/> Look in my eyes and
<br/> Deny it. No human could
<br/> Love you as much as I do.
<br/> ----
<br/> I sound the alarm!
<br/> Paperboy, come to kill us all!
<br/> Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
<br/> ----
<br/> The cat is not all
<br/> Bad, she fills the litter box
<br/> With Tootsie Rolls.
<br/> ----
<br/> I sound the alarm!
<br/> Mailman, come to kill us all!
<br/> Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
<br/> ----
<br/> Dig under fence, Why?
<br/> Because it's there. Because it's
<br/> There. Because it's there.
<br/> ----
<br/> I lift my leg and
<br/> Whiz on each bush. Hello Spot,
<br/> Sniff this and weep.
<br/> ----
<br/> I am your best friend,
<br/> Now, always, and especially
<br/> When you are eating.
<br/> ----
<br/> How do I love thee?
<br/> The ways are numberless as
<br/> My hairs on the rug.
<br/> ----
<br/> My human is home!
<br/> I am so ecstatic I have
<br/> Made a puddle.
<br/> ----
<br/> My people's mood is
<br/> Romantic, I lie near their
<br/> Feet. I fart a big one.
<br/> </div>
<div>
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- 1 reply
</div>Tentacular2004-12-04T02:12:53Z